Boonie Hat

Boonie Hat
This boonie cap really rocks, despite the low price. It's great for many uses and should last you a long time. Did you know they're also called giggle hats?
$3.63
Via amazon.com

The Adventure Watch

The Adventure Watch
This adventure watch sports a compass, thermometer, and separate minute and hour dials. Features old school analog functionality for more durability and retro coolness.
$22.95
Via 13deals.com

Survival Wallet

Survival Wallet
A very handy and basic pocket survival kit that's nice to be able to take about anywhere! Includes a kevlar cord, fish hooks, compass, magnets, small blade, signal mirror, card with survival tips and more.
$58.19
Via amazon.com

Sap Cap Self Defense Hat

Sap Cap Self Defense Hat
The ultimate self defense weapon; it's hidden and yet readily available for you to quickly grab. The secret is the "sap" - ultra dense material like lead in the back of the hat. 
$19.99
Via amazon.com

Emergency Mustaches

Emergency Mustaches

Never be without a mustache. You neer know when you might need one. Great for hanging out and drinking with a group of friends, but especially moreso in public.

 
$7.28
Via amazon.com

Self Defense Shoe Kickz

Self Defense Shoe Kickz

Simple, cheap and effective self defense. Insert into your shoelaces and potentially add a life-saving tool that will give you enough time to get away and get help.

$13.39
Via amazon.com

Multi-Tool Axe

Multi-Tool Axe
It's a Swiss Army Axe! Tons of cool tools included like screwdrivers, blades, knives, can opener, wire cutter, pliers, file and wrench. AND IT'S AN AXE!
$31.41
Via amazon.com

Survival Card Tool

Survival Card Tool
Look cool with your own Translucent Blue Survival Tool. Tool Logic's most compact survival card features 8 must have tools including the new skeletonized, serrated knife.
$13.60
Via amazon.com

Deluxe 4 Person Emergency Backpack

Deluxe 4 Person Emergency Backpack
Be ready for the next "End of the World", get your hands on this Deluxe Grab `N Go Emergency Kit. This kit contains enough emergency supplies to sustain 4 people for three days.
$88.88
Via amazon.com

Emergency Underpants

Emergency Underpants

Everyone knows that the Underpants Gnomes may strike at any moment, leaving you unequipped to properly walk about. Sure, going freestyle can be fun for a *little* while, but you need the comfort and security of underpants at all times. Be prepared!

$5.65
Via amazon.com

Bacon Strip Band Aids

Bacon Strip Band Aids

Bacon makes everything better, so why not band-aids? Er, excuse me, "adhesive bandages". Wouldn't wanna get Band-Aid's legal team after us.

$5.75
Via amazon.com