Beat It, Hippie Doormat
That's right, hit the bricks, hippie. Ok, so you might not actually want people to leave, but it's a nice smile creator. And if a dirty, stinkie hippie from the 60s does time travel and show up at your door, you're covered!
Bear in mind, we love hippies. Peace, love, understanding - that's what we're all about, man! Camping in the woods at music festivals in the summer is awesome. But when you're back in the "real world", there's no excuse for not showering.
We say, be a hippie, let that freak flag fly, just so long as you're not hurting anyone else; and that includes offending the olfactory senses of someone else. You may think your shit (or body odor) doesn't stink, but that ain't the case - have some deodorant!
We may have gotten off track as this is about a doormat. Ah well, what else are you going to say a bout a doormat? It's cute, clever, and will last a long time. What's it worth to brighten someone's day?